Doug and I found ourselves in sunny San Diego last month for my work’s yearly conference. It is definitely a work trip for me but the ocean water and the California sun had me feeling so grateful for so many things. I’ve been at my company for eleven years and this was my tenth conference. This was Doug’s second time to join me - mainly because he always needed to stay back with the kids. My work is so much a part of my community and it was great for him to get to meet so many of my friends, colleagues, and Operators. I know his introverted self was worn out by the end of the week, but he was a trooper and we had a great time.

But the trip had me grateful! Grateful for this stage of life we are in. Grateful for my work. Grateful for the friendships I’ve made along the way. Grateful for the income my job provides me - especially in hard economic times. Grateful for a hubby who supports my dreams and I can have fun with. Grateful for kiddos who can now stay home by themselves. And grateful for home once we got back. Sometimes we need reminders of the things to be grateful for and last month was that for me!

get your mammogram

Ya’ll, I’m embarrassed to say this but I had my second mammogram ever last Monday. I believe I got one around 40 but I honestly can’t remember. That is nearly six years since my last one. It wasn’t because I didn’t think about it. I did. Covid happened, we moved, and I just never got around to it.

Ironically, I had an order and was ready to schedule when I found a lump and of course this had me spiraling and so mad at myself for going so long. Irresponsible, yes! And a reminder that these routine appointments do matter. We have to make them.

Thankfully, the lump disappeared before I even got my screening and everything came back clear (they set up a diagnostic just in case), but don’t live by my example. Go get your mammogram!

spring is springing

If you have never experienced Spring in Atlanta then you are missing out. It is glorious and everything seems to erupt all at once. We have had a few warmer days so Mother Nature is teasing us, but the first signs of the floral season is upon us.

As a child growing up in South Alabama the daffodils were the first indicator to me that Spring was right around the corner - popping up in the last weeks of February - and they do that here as well. Before you know it I will be making my way to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens to see all their tulips in bloom. It is my favorite visit of the year!

trying a new skin care product

Over the holidays I had the opportunity to get a gold infusion facial from SkinPharm. It was a treat and I was impressed with how my skin looked after one treatment - but it’s not cheap. So I set out to find something that might be similar and I found Qure.

Micro-needling has long been a treatment at home or in a clinic that helps to reduce fine lines, produce collagen, and improve your complexion. I’ve looked into rollers before but never thought about how a roller can drag the needles across your skin instead of just puncturing them. When you get a treatment done in a clinic, the needles just puncture. The great thing about this system is it does that and the head of needles is replaced each time - warring off potential infection.

I’ve used the system twice so the jury is still out on some results, but I do love how it makes my skin look after a few days. And if you are wondering, it isn’t crazy unpleasant. Sensitive areas like around the eyes, neck, and mouth can be a little painful (I’d say scale of 2-3) but it is bearable.

when your design hits the real world

Some of you may know that I sell some of my designs on Spoonflower. I had a large order over a year ago of my palms print in wallpaper and I did a little digging to find out who purchased it. The designer was based out of Charleston and working on a beach rental not too far away. She recently posted pictures and here was the print on full display.

It’s always fun to see your work show up in places and while I don’t get to tap into this creative side of myself as often anymore, I still enjoy seeing how others are using the things I create.

worth a listen

Definitely worth your time. Listen here.

Some of you know that I’ve been trying my hand at housing and loving a Fiddle Leaf Fig. These finicky trees are temperamental and can be referred to as “treenagers.” They are definitely not a leave and water when it shows signs of thirst. So I bought one off of Facebook marketplace and ordered a book on how to care for them and have learned now through the seasons that I have to pay attention.

Before Christmas I came downstairs one weekend to find that my husband had left a very yellow and brown leaf lying near the trash can. I kind of freaked out knowing that this could be a sign of bad things to come. It got my attention and I started inspecting her a bit more often using the tricks I had learned for watering. What I didn’t know is that the drier air indoors with heat in the winter can dry up the soil faster and she was starting to show signs of distress. This resulted in my watering her a bit more often.

And just this week, there were new signs of growth. A new baby leaf is popping up. It was a reminder to me of the need for checking in to our needs. There are seasons where even the slightest adjustments in our self care and/or development can help foster growth in seasons of drought.

january

I don’t know about you but this past month kicked my tail. I hit the ground running the second week of the year and it has been non-stop ever since. I always forget just how intense January is. How was yours? Was it the same?

GLP-1s

I’ve debated sharing about this here and I may expand more in the future, but after three years of working diligently with a doctor, nutritionist, and wellness coach along with consistent lifestyle changes and no results (actually weight gain instead - a whopping 14 pounds to be exact) I finally caved and started on Tirzepatide. I experimented with Semaglutide three years ago but it made me incredibly sick and I saw very little results. To say I was leery of trying another option is an understatement but if I’m honest, I was beyond frustrated and my weight loss was getting worse not better.

I’ve been on them since right after Thanksgiving and the weight is coming off slowly, but I have lost 12 pounds. I instantly saw a difference in my inflammation and the food noise is almost non-existent. I’ve also noticed less of a desire for alcohol and my clothes are starting to fit better. I generally feel less swollen. Thankfully, side effects have been minimal and I’m so grateful to finally see something that is working - since all the natural changes didn’t.

There is so much judgment around these meds, which is one reason I’m sharing. We are learning a lot about what these drugs can do and they are helping so many people including myself. Oprah recently shared a podcast that provided a lot of great information and if you have been curious about these meds or quietly questioning people’s choices to use them, I encourage you to take a listen.

dePop

In my quest to organize and clean out I have found myself with clothing and shoes that I need to get rid of. I donate a lot but my daughter just turned me onto this resale app that has seriously been super easy to use and I’ve already sold several pieces. If you are interested in what I have for sale, feel free to stop on over and if you are looking for a platform to do the same, it’s worth a shot. I’ve definitely enjoyed it more than Poshmark and I feel like I actually make better commissions off of it as well.

sadies

My Charlotte had her Sadie’s dance this past weekend. She took her boyfriend, Matt, and I thought she looked quite stunning. She really has the best hair!

As I sat curling her hair helping her get ready I was reminded to savor the moment. It was one of those afternoons where I was feeling a bit rushed - trying to help her, workout, get dressed before Matt and his mom stopped by for pictures and I was feeling a bit annoyed. Not at her, but the lack of time. And then I stopped, paused, took a breath and reminded myself that the 45 minutes it took me to do her hair would be THE thing I would remember and savor in years to come. Guessing I’ll have many of these moments in the next couple of years with the kiddos finishing high school.

January’s theme really was one of reminding me to pause long enough to live and enjoy life’s moments. It’s hard to do in seasons of busyness but I’m grateful for the reminder. What is life teaching you lately?

I’ll admit, lately things have been so busy there are days where I just don’t feel like I have my head screwed on straight. I recently scheduled a multi trip flight when I was only going to one city. I forgot about pacing my travel and booked in person meetings for nine weeks straight instead of my three weeks on/one off. And I booked my flights for travel with Douglass over his Spring break a week after his time off (face palm).

So when I went to reschedule our trip on the right days I just booked a flight based on what we were trying to do and didn’t even pay attention to the day. Now, he and I are flying out at 9:40 a.m. on Easter morning. Sigh…

When these things happen I always feel bad. I wonder how I could have messed something like this up - but if I’m honest, Easter has been hard since the pandemic. We didn’t have services for two years, then we attended a church Easter service that wasn’t “our church”, and then last year we had Covid. And if I’m really honest, we just don’t feel connected to church - a systemic issue we have experienced almost our entire adult lives regardless of our involvement (and maybe a story for another time).

Maybe I subconsciously messed up intentionally or maybe it’s just the pattern of the last several years. Maybe it’s the lack of connectivity I feel with organized religion or maybe it is just the busyness of life that I let get in the way.

But there is one thing I know - the regard and celebration of Easter is not present only in the four walls of a building. The celebration and resurrection of my Savior is lived out in my heart. While I’m not proud of my mistakes, I realize - like most things in my faith - it matters more what is in my heart vs the attendance of a service in a building.

Wishing you all a Happy Easter! He is risen! He is risen, indeed.

Many of you know my schedule. I travel for work three weeks out of the month. Usually I’m gone for two nights but with flights home after a long day this usually means that I miss three dinners during that week.

This also means that I don’t cook. There was a day, back when the kiddos were little and I was at home with them where I cooked every meal. I got pretty good at it and with a very limited budget learned how to stretch a dollar and meals to feed our little family.

But it was hard! Doug was usually coaching and that timeframe between late afternoon and dinner is usually a fussy time for littles. Let’s just say I wasn’t finding the joy in cooking. But there were times I did enjoy it and it did get easier as the kids got older.

Fast forward and I am slap out of practice. When Doug left education several years ago we literally flopped duties and he took his turn at being home and managing the majority of the household. The kids don’t remember my years cooking and swear their father is so much better at it than I am - and admittedly he is. But recently, he started training for a new role - getting certified in air traffic dispatching. This has him away from home much more not to mention the amount of prep work he has to do. With his added load we had to discuss what my new involvement would be in the day to day when I am here. One thing he said that would help - could I cook dinner once or twice a week?

Sunday night is one of the easiest times for me to cook. It is also one of the few times we are all together. For the last few weeks I’ve been preparing Sunday Supper. Surprisingly, I’ve found joy in cooking for my family. But it’s less about the cooking and more about the time around the table.

You see, recently, I had to ask myself the question, “What do you want the next 2-3 years to look like?” Charlotte, my daughter, graduates two years from this May and my son, Douglass, three years from then as well. I’m realizing those moments sitting around the table as a family unit are almost over and while there will be more moments around the table after they leave, this chapter with them home is almost complete.

And so I find myself soaking up as much as I can as we sit around that dinner table on a Sunday night. Talking, laughing, and joshing each other. The meals I prepare aren’t always perfect and sometimes a bit of a flop, but the time together is so, so precious.

Wish I could go back and tell that weary momma that the memories she was creating and the time she was prepping would one day be cherished. There was a lot of fun yet to come with her one day teenagers sitting around the dinner table on a Sunday night!

Many know the very conservative upbringing I had - which has resulted in a lot of interesting conversations in my adult years, especially when everyone around the table assumes we had the same experiences. From college, to prom, to many other “normal” scenarios.

So when the question came up over a team dinner recently, “What was your wedding song,” I found myself wracking my brain thinking “what am I going to say?”

You may wonder why I didn’t have a wedding song - something I knew I’d have to explain in this conversation. I struggled to quickly contrive a concise answer without dampening the mood of something that was so joyous for everyone at the table. At the time, dancing and any music that was mainstream (or Christian rock) was off limits. Part of my parents conservative beliefs. No dance with father. No dance with my new husband and a reception that was an hour at most because we knew no one would stay long without any entertainment.

Years later at my sister’s wedding, we partied like it was 1989 - dancing, singing, and celebrating. My father grabbed me for a moment and as we danced together he leaned in and apologized for never giving me that party at my wedding. Even after 21 years of marriage Doug and I still talk about throwing a wedding party one day for ourselves.

I know my mother will read this and she will feel bad, but my wedding day was still special and beautiful despite our lack of a wedding song.

I share because we all have things that make us feel “other.” This can come to life in the typical ways like race, gender, and sexuality but the question reminded me that we all have unique experiences and while we share a lot we also are very different as well. It can make for rich conversation if we lean in and those of us that wind up in the seat of “other” can bring that gift to the conversation if we are willing to allow others to lean in.

I don’t say this lightly - “otherness” comes with insecurity and many times pain so we avoid it or we are fearful of how others will react. But, if we always assume we are all the same and those of us with “other” experiences never share we lose out on the richness of life and the human experience.

So the next time you get to sit in the seat of “other” I hope you remember this little post and choose to use it’s power because your “otherness” is what makes you so unique and special!

It’s an intention I realized I needed to put into practice this year. I shared a vulnerable incident on social after a visit with my wellness coach back in January - I cried over the frustration of not losing weight after a two year focus. But I realized, I cried because I was ashamed. Ashamed of my weight. Ashamed of my reaction to it. Ashamed that I still have this internal dialogue even after all these years.

And then I realized, I wasn’t being kind to myself in a lot of ways. I was “doing all these things” but not listening really well to what my body needed. The thing was I felt like my stomach was in my chest all the time. With work stress, travel, being a mom, wife, friend and family member and then this added shame around my body, I was not feeling a lot of peace.

So I started asking myself, what does it look like to be kinder to myself this year? Here are four things I came up with and so far, it’s making a difference:

1. I am asking myself what I need - a question that helps me determine this from this lens is to say, “what does being kind to yourself look like today?” For example: I’ve committed to 3-4 weight lifting sessions a week. When I woke up one morning really sore and not feeling 100% instead of doing said workout, I opted for a stretch, cardio, and a mobility workout instead and gosh, did I need it!

2. I’ve started meditating in the morning again. Why I stopped this, I don’t know but after a month of spending 10 minutes a day meditating that “stomach in my chest feeling” is not rearing its ugly head. Additionally, I woke up on a trip after a rough night’s sleep with the intention to head to the gym. I couldn’t figure it out but my anxiety was off the charts (guessing poor sleep). So instead of a workout I knew that being kind to myself that day meant getting my nervous system into a better place. I did this 20-minute breath work meditation and no lie, it got rid of that awful, anxious feeling.

3. I did dry January. Ya’ll, I know I’ve shared about this but I really didn’t think this would make a difference and WOW, it has! I’m seeing how drinking can contribute to my anxiety and I feel so much better - more myself, less inflamed.

4. My internal conversations about my body are not very nice sometimes - so when these thoughts crop up I remind myself to be kind. This is harder for me than the other things but reminding myself to be kind helps put me in check instead of harping on “the thing” I don’t like.

Curious, what do you do to be kinder to yourself?

This book is focused on the spirituality of the two halves of life - something that I have definitely come to understand more on the other side of my 40’s. But something I read this morning struck a cord and was a good reminder - especially in those times when life might feel mundane, hard, or even a bit lack luster.

He said:

As the body cannot live without food, so the soul cannot live without meaning… Humans are created for meaning, and finding deep meaning in our experiences is not just another name for spirituality but is also the very shape of human happiness.

It was a reminder to me that meaning in our lives is vital to our wholeness. It isn’t just spiritual but mental and even physical. Just like we cannot live long without food, we also cannot live long without meaning.

Life in so many ways gets eaten up with the mundane, the hard, the things we are discontent with, the relationships that are broken, the financial or health pressures that are there, our worry, anxiety, ego, and more. You can see how easy it is to lose sight of meaning whether that be the core of your why or the things that have significant meaning in our lives.

This challenges me to make time to remember it, define it (because I don’t think this is a stagnant thing), cherish it, and look back to it often - because without meaning it’s hard to have hope and without hope life can and will feel pretty void of anything remotely beautiful!